I binged. not like a normal binge, either, where I just eat too much ice cream and a few cookies and some chips. no, I intentionally ate so much that I had trouble sitting up.
-full bag of chips
-a ton of water
-mango smoothie
-soup in a bread bowl from panera
-giant cookie
yeah. that's pretty close to 3,000 calories, more than I ate the last 3 days.
I don't know what happened, it was like my rational brain turned off and I went into a frenzy, eating as much as possible. it was around this time last year I started gaining weight and I simply cannot let that happen again.
I took 6 laxies just so I'll be able to go to sleep tonight. I thought about throwing up and then decided it would be bad and probably make me cry and ruin any chance of getting work done tonight. this is probably the most disgusting feeling ever.
I understand the need to purge. It is unexplainable!
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