philosophical bitch

after some dumb decisions I had a blow out fight with my roommate. yeah, it's my fault (as always) but I still don't appreciate the way she looks at me and speaks to me. we ended up later sitting down to talk (aka both of us crying) and I think it's a bit better now.

for about 2 hours after I felt weak and shaken and hallow. it was exactly how I felt with my step mother, and it's a feeling I try my best to avoid. I feel all the time like crying and talking to people about my problems. but talking about it makes me feel worse and down and down the spiral goes.

I know if I could only control what I say, and how I speak about and to others my life would be so much easier and so much happier. I need some balance in my life, and I need self-control to implement all the knowledge I know I've collected. all the sayings are right, they're cliches for a reason.