Last Night

I feel like I've only been writing here when I've been throwing up or taking laxies or really sad or hooked up with a guy. Totally not what my life is about, but that's the way it looks here.

That being said, I'm writing about another boy.

Last night I hooked up with a guy who has a crush on my roommate. I went to his room to hang out and drink, but we ended up just hooking up. And he's roommates with my best friend's boyfriend. So we were all four in that room just hooking up. I guess we took best friends to a whole new level. It's actually weirdly comforting to have some other couple in the room.

The guy was actually really refreshing. He was super in control, unlike most guys I've slept with. He decided what was happening when, and was trying to give me what I wanted at the same time. He was rough and pulled my hair and bit my neck. Since his roommate and my friend were there he covered my mouth when I got too noisy. And he was forceful in ways I didn't expect. I'm surprised that I'm into that sort of thing. Also he convinced me it was okay to have sex without a condom. I'm still a little worried since I'm not on birth control, but I think we're okay.

I didn't sleep at all, I just laid there, him pulling me closer each time I got a little space. Each time he stirred he would kiss me on the forehead, which was so sweet especially with how rough he is. He slept some and his roommate and my friend slept. It was nice just to lie down with my eyes closed and think. I was wishing to go to sleep but I really didn't mind.

This morning I'm just keeping quiet, trying to lay low. Honestly I'm not very good at that though. I don't like his still, I think he's kind of a douche. But last night was so good. I wouldn't mind if we just slept together sometimes.

I'm getting a lot of heat from my roommate who figured it out from a complicated series of lies, all meant to protect people from finding out who everyone really hooked up with last night. But I figure it's the pot calling the kettle black and I should just wait it out. I just wish it could all be simple.