The Reason Why I'm Crying Right Now

im crying because i was watching a tv show and a woman shows up to her girlfriend's house and asks if they can be together again, even though they broke up, and even though the girlfriend missed the woman she slammed the door in her face and it was just so sad because the woman was rejected and it made me cry because her look was so hurt and i couldnt stand it and then i started thinking that it'll hurt me almost as much as that woman losing her girlfriend for me to get the rejection letter in the mail from emerson because i have all my hope pinned on it even though i know almost like a fact that i won't get in because i just know somethings and i'll be crushed and i'll always think of it my whole life and it'll be like safetys and peer leadership all over again except worse because i care more about it and then strait after i'll find out that i got a horrible part in the palay and that i failed at everything and now i'm thinking of how much i miss prateek and how he said that he'd call last week but didnt and didn't even message me to say sorry that he didnt because he doesnt love me anymore and so to make up for missing him i've been doing stupid things just to get attention but thats not really working because it isn't real and i feel so horrible but i can't help it because i'm going to fail at everything and i know it because that woman and her girlfriend couldn't work things out and in the end people you love will always leave you or let you down