Only two more weeks until these summer classes are over. Thank goodness. They've been really difficult, and I'm feeling the desperate lazy crush of depression coming back again. I really don't know how other people do this. The whole living thing, the whole 'being an adult' thing. It sucks.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist, he's a cool guy. He put me on an anti-depressant, but so far not much has changed. Still the same sadness, still the same amount of purging. I must say though, my out look on the purging has changed. It's not a mental thing, or an emotional thing, despite what therapy and "experts" online have told me. It's a habit, a bad habit, but a habit nonetheless. And that doesn't mean it's going to be easy to stop, but I don't think I have to work out all this emotional bullshit in order to stop binging and purging.
Summer is here (finally) and that's made me a lot happier, I must say. Today I biked 12 miles and I feel really good about that. Biking always makes me feel free and accomplished. I like the trails and the peace of it. I want to try to bike from my home here in Boston to Cape Cod this summer. It's 70 miles, but I think I could do it in a day as long as I start early in the morning.
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