Friendsgiving

My first Thanksgiving away from my family, it felt strange. All day I felt empty and anxious and just off.

Wednesday night I saw Marlon for the first time in 3 weeks. I was still angry at him for ditching me at the beach during Novembrinas and frustrated with his horrible texting habits. We made plans Tuesday but I went out with Francisco instead. (That night was amazing- Francisco and I bought wine at the grocery store and then went to his new house that his family hasn't moved into yet. We sat on his empty back patio and drank and read poetry in Spanish.) When I finally got to Marlon's house on Wednesday night I was frustrated with him for not coming to pick me up and for being so casual when I was still angry with him.

Of course we made up, and actually ended up having a pretty nice night. We talked a lot (well, as much as we really can. He knows about 5 words in English and my Spanish is pretty terrible. But we get by) and I ended up staying the night at his place. I got home around 9am and started planning for Thanksgiving dinner that night at my friend Mohamed's house.

I walked to the grocery store to buy the ingredients for cookies and a fruit salad but stopped on the way to eat an empanada and mango juice. Lunch was coconut rice and pork chops and guava juice. Then I went to class for a little while just to check in, then went home and made the cookies and some banana bread for my host mother. I tasted just a little bit of the cookie dough.

As soon as I got to Mohamed's house my stomach started to hurt. I was really pumped for delicious thanksgiving food and lots and lots of wine, but my body ruined everything. A sip of wine and I had to put it down. A friend got me a plate of food and the look of it made me want to throw up. I was so nauseous and started to get that taste in my mouth like I was going to be sick any moment. I went to the bathroom and waited a minute for my body to get everything out, but nothing. So I sped up the process and then it was like magic, the entire day's worth of food came up. It's so crazy for me to actually throw up now, purging is such a part of my life that when I throw up for real now it's kind of scary. My body does all the work for me and it's freaky to be out of control.

So now the question is if I have a stomach bug or if it was what I ate. My guess is either the empanada or the raw cookie dough. Drinking gatorade now and praying I can manage to keep it down. I want to go out dancing tonight and I don't want to feel like crap.