Food is my secret but it shows all over me. I eat as my secret splurge, in the same way I go clothes shopping. I don't know why I've always had it in my head that what and how much you eat is a private matter, much the same as your bank account or your sex life.
I'm a glutton. I lust after salt and doughy carbs and sugar. Changing this fact about me would be similar to changing my name. But I want that. I want to be different than I am. I want to ignore bad foods, pass them up and not then focus on them, longing for minutes or hours or days until I can finally eat them. I want food to let up its grip on me.
Lately I've been exercising more. I run and bike and swim. I go on walks with my dog each evening. But I need to be more regular in my efforts, and maybe then I'll lose weight the way I did in high school when I ran track. Is it possible without the motivation and strict scheduling of a team?
This holiday weekend I'm not working, I'm with my cousins in the mountains. We've been walking and swimming, but we're eating holiday foods. grilled cheese, chicken and corn, bagels, chips and hummus. And all the while my health-freak aunt is commenting on weight, giving me glances as if she knows she's hurting me but is deciding to say these things anyway.
Ugh. I'm sorry about your aunt. Try to ignore her as best as you possibly can?
ReplyDeleteStay strong xx