20

It was my birthday yesterday, and I was 146 pounds. Last year I was 154, so at least I weigh a little less than last year. Still. That's really sad that I only lost 8 pounds. I need to be pretty and thin on my 21st birthday. When people take pictures of me with my first legal beer in a bar, I want to be wearing a sleeveless dress and have beautiful thin arms. I don't want to have to hold in my stomach in all those pictures of me with a 21 birthday crown.

I had a nice birthday, though. My Dad took me out to breakfast at this secret restaurant in town. You actually need a key to get in, and my Dad got me my own copy of the key for my birthday. How sweet! He also bought me a blender that comes with smoothie travel cups. That is going to be so useful for making low-cal filling meals for school. Whenever I have smoothies, they always make me really full which is nice. They have more calories than just like an apple or something, but they're filling and actually feel like a meal. Maybe I'll make a smoothie diet plan.

The big goal I want to make for this year is definitely to stop binging. I know I always talk about it, but I want that aspect of my life gone forever. I need to stop giving the finger to my health and happiness whenever I see chips or a bagel store. I'm worth more than a brownie when I'm high. Of course, I'd also like to weigh less. How poetic does a goal of 121 sound for a 21st birthday? That would mean losing 25 pounds, which in a year is totally doable. Of course, I've never managed it before, but I'll try even harder this time.