slow dancing in a burning room

went out dancing last night with my friends. I like a boy and he likes me. we have this cute little week-old romance going, and it's been a really interesting cross-cultural experience.

anyway. wanted to write something because I don't feel like I can say these things to anyone in real life. last night when we were dancing my head just started spinning with the most awful thoughts. almost in time with the music I repeated in my head you are worthless you are ugly you are stupid you are terrible you are nothing. I was giving into myself, almost making myself cry, but at the same time having an internal argument: I need to stop thinking like this and enjoy the night. this boy won't like me anymore if I act like such a downer. I'm being crazy. I need to stop this and pay attention to being happy with him. when we left the dance floor we sat outside and I blabbered in english about how horrible I felt, only telling him the truth because I knew he couldn't understand me.

I guess drunk me gets sad.