Lightening

I hear them calling
Bells that signal something
Is it my white dress?
Am I late for class?

I wore a size 10 red dress
and he wore a red tie to match
I wish I had been size 2
and that I hadn't turned my cheek

You are going away
I dreamed of crying in your arms
and of you going far
of me alone again

I had a vision of a flood
my eyes were closed but I knew


I write P texts that I will never send. I feel things so strong sometimes it hurts. Other times I can't feel anything at all.

I wanted to scream at him that I hated being his token of redemption. But I couldn't send it because I love him. I will miss him so much, maybe more than I anticipate. I hope I can forget him and any love I ever felt for him, just like I started to forget my mother. This time I shouldn't dig up the feelings again though. The less I think of her (and him) the less it will hurt.

I dreamed of running to his house in the rain and coming in the front door and crying and he hugged me so tight. and I sobbed into his chest and he ran his fingers through my hair. He kissed my cheeks and wiped away the tears with the side of his thumb. I don't know who he was. I thought it was Prateek at first, but it didn't look like him. Maybe it was God or maybe it was my angel. I so badly need an angel.