Ribbit ribbit

Last night I went to Vishwa's house to watch Lost. We watched one episode then ended up watching the Princess and the Frog since we're such cool kids. We were up in his bed room since he has a projector on his wall. I felt like such a slut laying on his bed. I've only known him for a few months and we've been dating for only two weeks. We haven't even kissed yet. I don't know if what I did was totally inappropriate or not. But teenagers are supposed to break rules right?

The more I think of it the worse I feel. Am I so selfish I won't let him kiss me or touch me how he wants? I know my dad and other Christians say to be modest and take things slow, but the media and everything influencing him says to go for it and that a guy can do what ever he wants with a girl. I don't know. On the one hand I want a really special first kiss and on the other I don't want to be a prude. I don't know if he's right for me either. But maybe all high school relationships are this awkward. I guess it all leads back to the fact that I still can't believe Vishwa likes me at all.

I was sitting with my arms around my knee so as not to look slutty and pretty soon his arms were around me and had my head on his shoulder. Then I was looking up and he had his cheek to mine like back when we were dancing. I love his stubble. It's prickly but for some reason I like it a lot. He kissed my cheek a few times but I never gave him a good opportunity to kiss me. At one point I was smiling and he said "you have the most obnoxious smile on your face right now. I love it. It's cute." and I hid my face and blushed looked at him and he looked back. I put my head on my arm and he kissed my forehead.

He didn't kiss me, but I got something better. He put his cheek to mine and held me. He kissed my cheek and he had his hand over mine. He kissed my neck and I was so happy. I didn't ever want it to end, but of course it did. At midnight I turn into a pumpkin. Like Cinderella I'll always have that magic to remember.