heart break

I'm single. and typing that makes me want to melt into a puddle of tears.

Last night we went for dinner and I had a salad and he had a burger. He made a comment about me not being fat and I rolled my eyes.
My town puts on fireworks every Friday night in the summer to attract more tourists. We waited for them to start at a nice spot by the river that only us locals know about. See, it looks shady from the street, but once you go back there it's rather romantic. Especially romantic when it starts to rain. I kissed him and started to cry. All I could think was that our kisses were numbered, which made me cry harder.
"hey." He said in that soft voice only the guys who love you have. And he looked at me straight in the eyes. "I'm just so scared" I said in a voice so low I was surprised he could hear it over the sound of the rain on the river. He held me for a long time. "It needs to stop raining" he muttered after a while. "you know," I told him, "the weather always mirrored how the characters felt in Shakespeare." He smiled, "Well I guess you need to stop crying then."
We didn't end up staying to watch the fireworks. We walked back to his car to hook up. And as cliche as it is, there were fireworks across town and in the car. I'm not sure what made it so good this time, but it was goood. All that just added to making driving home and saying goodbye even harder.
He told me all the reasons why I was such a great girlfriend and I told him similar things. We both laughed as if these weren't the final moments we were sharing as a couple.
When he finally pulled up to my house, I looked at him and said I didn't know if I was ready to say goodbye. "I can't bear to think of dating you in past tense" I said into his ear as he hugged me. I started to cry as the words left my mouth. He pulled away and looked at me, his eyes filling with tears too. For a long time we sat there, embracing and crying and saying the best words we knew to say. "look at us" I laughed as we sat close, wiping away tears, "we're so being so silly." he gave me a painful smile and said "yeah, I guess we are."
He walked me to the door, and made me promise to call him often while at school. We kissed, in the most sad and needy way I had ever kissed anyone. But I think it was also the most passionately I had ever kissed anyone.
Then I looked at him and shook his hand, "friends?" He looked at me and repeated "friends" and kissed my hand. That made me break down again. And he looked like he couldn't take it either. "Oh, I don't think I can ever stop loving you," I cried. And we were kissing again, the same as before, except that  I was crying now. I looked up at him after I had collected myself, made solid eye contact, and kissed him one last time full on the lips.
"Goodbye [boy]," I whispered and went into the house.

As soon as I closed the doors I started weeping again. I leaned against the door and sobbed. Then I dragged myself up the stairs and got into bed next to my father, who was watching the news about the hurricane. He held me and I cried my eyes out. And while I was talking I realized why they call it broken heart. It really does feel as if your heart was torn in two. All the while, in his calm, quiet voice he sympathized over my heart break. "Love hurts, especially when it's over" he told me wisely.
Eventually I kissed my dad on the cheek and went to sleep, not caring that my rain-soaked hair was making my pillow wet.