losing my everything

I haven't written anything here in a while. I haven't written anything anywhere else, either and it's making me crazy to think of all the time I'm losing. Not that it's lost, I can still remember. But I'm worried that I'll lose all the memories if I don't write them down, and it feels false to write them down later.

Last night we hosted yet another party, and it was way too many people. Everyone was drinking our alcohol and smoking our weed and making too much noise in our house, where we got in trouble when the cops came. I hate all these stupid college kids.

I'm applying to a waitstaff temp agency. It's basically a catering company. I'm so incredibly nervous for the interview, but I'm excited that I might be able to start making some money. I spend far too much to on weed and alcohol and shitty food that's making me fat.

But I just cannot stop eating. I'm so gross but I just can't stop. All I want to do is eat and eat and eat. It's terrible. Alright. I need to stop writing, it's making me cry.