2012

Happy New Year! and it's my 1 year blogiversary! yay!!! well, sort of yay. haha, I haven't made too much progress in a year, which I find sad. I lost 15 pounds by April, then lost 10 more by August. Then college happened, and despite my convictions not to, I gained 15 back. Then I lost 5 between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I finished the year at 144, about 6 pounds lighter than I started it.

a lot has happened this year. It's been a lot more eventful than any year I've had.

-graduated high school

-started college

-made friends

-lost friends

-did the EDNOS thing

-fell in love

-went on dates

-got noticed

-learned to drive

-drank alcohol

-went to California

-pulled an all-nighter

-changed my hair

And last night I added one more thing to that list- got drunk. I had never gotten drunk like that before. A friend of mine invited me to his New Years Eve party. He had one last year too, but this year he decided to let people drink. it was one of those classic basement parties with a pong table and crappy couches, the walls were wood paneling and the carpet was shag.

I had 3 mixed drinks in about half an hour. I didn't think it was so bad but then I stood up from a game we were playing and the room spun. Soon everything was shaky and I was talking more than usual. I just felt relaxed and a little bit dangerous. like it was okay if I let my guard down and was honest. I danced and had a ton of fun and drank quite a bit more after I had decided I'd had enough. People kept telling me they were surprised that I was drinking, the host called me the cutest drunk he ever met.

I didn't eat in preparation for the party, which was a feat considering the delicious-smelling chocolate chip pancakes my dad made for breakfast. I brushed my teeth instead. But then I had pizza (240) and chips (90?) and a cookie (60). oh yeah, and a ton of soda and alcohol. I'll just put a check mark next to that day and try to remember it was a holiday, not a weak moment. oh boy.

I worry that I said too much, I worry that people think badly of me. I know it's not a rational fear, but it's there. I don't regret drinking or having fun, though. I had a great time, even if it was hell to wake up in the morning. My little brother picked me up in the morning, I'm so thankful that he can drive- the whole house smelled like alcohol.

I have some resolutions, too:

1. 125 by summer

2. try being vegan for one week

3. save money

4. be more positive

5. give better