either grey or blue

THE DATE WAS AWFUL

Basically, he's like a total freak of nature. He thinks he's hot shit and totally isn't. I mean, physically he's hot, but he has a terrible personality. Also, he wishes he was still in high school which is just majorly pathetic.

We hung out in this park and it was super awkward and we both knew it. And then he tried to feel me up, which I thought I wanted him to do, but then I freaked out and ran away. Like I looked at him and mumbled something about leaving and then jumped in my car and drove off.

The next half of the night was me sitting in my car alone listening to economics news and staring at the road. Then I went to a burger place where I had a "Greek burger" which was lamb and feta and tsaziki sauce. It was delicious, but I had around a quarter of it and threw it out. Minus points for the emotional eating, but plus points for throwing out most of the meal.

I weigh 142 pounds still, and my goal for June 1 is 138. If I get on some sort of exercise regime I know it's totally possible.

Also, I have this idea in my head now about taking a trip across the country. The reasonable thing to do would be to road trip in a car, but I'm kind of thinking about biking. Wouldn't that be like crazy hard and a strange thing to do? Maybe I could like couch surf.. I dunno. Or maybe I'll find a job online in a new city and just bike there. That could be fun!

This morning I woke up and baked muffins (I ate two of them, even though they're 380 calories each and now I've already had 800 calories and it's only 3pm. sigh) and then tried on all the dresses in my closet while watching HBO's Girls. Yeah. Watching other people who actually have friends is kind of depressing, but at least it's a distraction from this miserable summer.

I hate summer. Yeah, there's no school, but there's also a ton of loneliness. And it can't just be solved by walking down the street to a friend's place. No. You have to organize plans and communicate. If this is any indication of my adult life, I want no part in this. It sucks.

Wanna see some selfies of me in the outfit I landed on after trying on everything I own? Playing dress up is so much fun. (please excuse my messy living space.)

I've owned this dress forever, but I've never actually worn it. Probably because if you lean down even a little bit everyone can see your ass. But I wore it with leggings, so I'm totally not a slut. Like the cat eye? I think I'm getting it finally.