Could you imagine if I looked like Emma? I'd be so much more beautiful if I could only become more like her.
I went to Planned Parenthood yesterday where I was tested for all these diseases and given a script for birth control. I plan to start it today so that it'll start working as soon as possible.
I'm worried that I'm changing myself too much for this guy I'm seeing. He convinced me to cut my hair, something I had no desire to do. He also convinced me to go on birth control, another thing I didn't want. I also smoke far more than I used to and speak in a way I never have before.
Am I that silly girl who changes shape just to fit in someone's arms a little more comfortably? Sadly, I'll happily answer 'yes' if it means I end up under 130 pounds by July.
today:
2 pancakes (440)
1 glass oj (112)
30 minutes bike ride (-101)
I got my haircut on Saturday, about 8 inches off. Then I wasn't happy with it, it was an awkward length. So this afternoon I cut more off. But I'm not sure if I like it.
This morning I weighed in at 141.4. It's so frustrating that only 3 days ago I was at 139.4. Why does my weiht have to bounce around like this? Why can't it just go steadily downwards like I want it to?
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