May is half way through

All week I've been seeing this man I met at a bar. I'm underage, but I go to sip water and listen to the brave guitarists go up to play their songs one by one. My favorite has a scratchy beard and friendly blue eyes. He sings old favorites and originals that have grown to feel familiar. I knew him when he was trying so hard it hurt him, but now he seems to have found the secret to happiness. He looks good and his smile comes easily.

The man I'm seeing is only 6 inches taller than my 5'2, but that's enough height that I still have to look up when he stands close enough to kiss me goodnight. He likes to hold my hand and kisses me when the stoplight turns red.

Last year, he lost 100 pounds, a complete transformation. He looks great now, I don't think I ever would have guessed he had ever been anything but athletic. It makes me ashamed of  my pudgy cheeks and rounded shoulders. If he could lose 100, surely I can find the strength to get rid of 30 pounds or more. What do you think sounds better as an ultimate goal? 115 or 105? Both would be"healthy," I calculated. 

Some days I eat well. A salad for lunch, yogurt for breakfast, chicken and zucchini for dinner. But other days I eat terribly. I have cake for breakfast and chips for lunch, french fries or pizza for dinner. Luckily, those are often also the days I spend 8 hours on my feet waitressing. I need to go back to working on sprints at the high school track, and doing ab workouts each night before bed. I haven't felt properly sore in a long time.