Screaming

I'm screaming so loud inside my head but I can't speak out loud.
yell.
screeeeaam!
I'M SCREAMING!
I mad but I understand.
but I don't understand
I'm shaking
numb
the blood is filling up my ears and I'm blushing
screeeeeammm
muffles, truffles, chuckles
false illusions and fake identities
I salute you
jump to all the wrong conclusions
buy the whole world
i want everything
except for that, and that, and that
and not you either
screaming
i wish i could drift, but the first push is much too scary for me
I hate you
I love the way you smile and the way you wrinkle your nose and the funny way you sneeze
dimple to one side, how cute
achoo
bless me
seething
uncontrollably tame
don't make me do that, eat that, wear that
I don't like her, or him either
I don't like this
or that thing I'm trying so hard to forget
scratching and annoying
clawing at my patience
don't make me turn around
on a silent sea, ears full of salt water
all my silent screams
screaming
screaming
all inside my head