Touch

I went to visit Vishwa on Sunday. yay! I had a lot of fun, except for the bit on the train.... I was shaking and freaking out when I got off, I could barely figure out which way was up. But the rest of the day went pretty well. The only thing was that I could feel something changing. It was tangible. I felt myself pulling away, I knew that I was some sort of an embarrassment, I couldn't even hold his hand. I kept pulling away, only kissing him a few times. I don't even really know the reason in a way I can put into words, but I can feel it when I think of him or when he's close by.

We were sitting alone in a court yard, his hand resting on mine, and I did what I'd been meaning to do for a long while. I asked him if he was okay with us still being together even though he was in college. I told him that I didn't want to hold him back from starting his new life at college. He told me he worried that he was holding me back from having a fun senior year. We looked at each other and knew that neither of us were quite ready for it to be over. I'm still having fun, and so is he.

He is really the sweetest guy. He might not notice a whole lot of things but he has a kind heart. We were walking and I barely even noticed a girl struggling with four bags of ice. One fell to the ground and Vishwa darted over to her side of the side walk and offered to help her carry it. I grabbed one and so did he, and the three of us took the ice to the end of the block to her mother's food stand. The girl barely muttered thank you, but it was the type of thing most people don't do. Something that I'm not kind enough to think of. It's really the obvious thing to do, help someone who is struggling, but I hardly notice things like that. I'm oblivious, wandering, clouded in my own little world.