the first week went okay. and now I'm feeling so unmotivated! my life is stressful enough without thinking about my weight and how ugly I'll stay until I'm thin. I was losing weight for a few days, and now I'm on that dumb yo-yo of up and down and up and down. 150-152 over and over. please make it stop.
as you all know, I've gone back to school. and here's all the things on my plate:
Beat Reporting (class)
Law & Ethics for Journalists (class)
Fashion History (class)
American Woman Literature (class)
Sorority (rush is this week)
Job (10 hours a week)
Hosting My Radio Show
Internship (16 hours per week)
yeah. it's a lot. and don't forget that I have homework, I work out around 1 hour a day, and I have a social life. seriously, I think I'm taking on too much, but I literally can't see myself cutting anything off the list.
just thinking about the food here and how many calories are in alcohol makes me so stressed out. I eat well for a lot of the day, but then there are dumb things like birthday cakes in meetings and mixing vodka with fruit punch that make things so difficult. I feel like my small bad decisions destroy hours of work and my dozens of smart decisions.
I want to go home to my puppy and my daddy! I want to sleep in my own bed and watch tv on my couch and ride my bike. I know I wasn't happy this summer and that going home would be way worse, but I hate this. it's too overwhelming and I don't even like that many people here. what if I'm not ready yet?
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