new week

rush week is finally over. hallelujah. I mean, it was fun, but it was too much smiling for my taste. last night was the mixer with our brother fraternity and I had a lot of fun. I pre-gamed at my big's apartment with my pledge sisters and some of the older sisters-I finally feel like one of them. like they would actually come to me with something important.

at the mixer I danced with a few boys, and one who has been after me since last semester kept asking if I was drunk enough to kiss him. ew. no. then I met this guy, who was relatively hot, but also kind of nerdy and sweet. I'd never met him before even though he's one of my brothers. we talked and smoked and I gave him my number, and then we made out in the hallway.

we were heading home in the pouring rain, and I was so happy to be getting rained on. it was a beautiful feeling, being cross-faded and having the cold rain on my hair and my skin. I felt beautiful. and then there he was out of no where, and we were kissing in the rain just like an old movie.

I ended up going home with him and we slept together. It was mostly good, but I was wayyy too tight. but besides that it was really a good night, he was kind and tender and it was really comforting just to be next to him all night long.

strangely, I felt fat, but not ashamed. more like it would be nice if I were thinner, but I know that I don't look completely hideous. I do want to get in better shape so that I can just have a better time when I have sex. I don't know if that's a weird reason to want to get more flexible and strong, but it's definitely on the list.

anyway. today we had voting for which rushes will be getting bids tonight. it was interesting to see how it works, but I'm sad some of the girls I like won't be getting in. tonight we have our first ever bid day party, which is a nice new tradition. other school do it, but we never have.

if only I didn't have so much homework to do.