I feel like such shit. I've been sad for... I can't even count the days. I was doing so well being happy, too.my weight is 143. meaning I've gained 10 pounds since I got here. I am such a failure. (and don't say everyone gains weight in college. I promised myself I'd lose weight. I'm not everybody.)
it's not just my looks. life is just really hard right now. I'm bullshitting my assignments and skipping class and doing all the things I know I shouldn't. my mind is so full of terrible thoughts that I can't sleep at night.
I've been to the counseling center twice. One time I walked there, looked at the door and then walked home again. The second time I opened the door, but then chickened out again and just grabbed some condoms and left. so pathetic.
oh hun. I'm not going to say everyone gains weight in college. I've been losing weight in college because I hate being surrounded by people who are thinner than me.
ReplyDeleteWhat I will say is that at times like these (believe me, I've had them) you have to just bite the bullet and do what you know you have to do. Then you'll feel better because you won't feel bad for binging and skipping class and as you lose weight your mood will pick up too.
Please go to the counsellor, it will help you. Like I said, bite the bullet and just do it. Pretend you are someone else for that moment. Whatever it takes really.
Hope you feel better or get help soon.
Third time lucky. Just go. It will do you the world of good.
ReplyDeleteStay safe,
xx