dumb dinner time

okay. blogosphere, you need to cheer up. seriously girls, you control your destiny. a ton of people here have been super down on themselves and saying some honestly scary things. I know you feel that way now, but you need to find a way to be happy about being alive. I'm not saying this in judgement, goodness knows with all that I write that I could never do that. but I am saying this as a fellow weight-obsessed girl, blogger, and human being. please, do something in the direction of being okay.

anyway.

I'm home from the beach. and all the skinny people and the horrible rest stop food. I had two good days in a row if you don't count the times we stopped at a rest area for dinner. first reason- we ate at like 8 at night (how do people eat that late normally? some of my friends do that, but I get far too hungry to wait until then.)  second reason- first we had pizza then we had wendy's. I had a grilled chicken sandwich that I thought was going to be around 400 calories. wrong. it was 550. moral of this story- check the nutrition before you eat everything.

super skinny red-head ballerina was at the beach again. she is so sweet, but it's almost hard to see her. she eats like nothing and is so small, which I admire, but also freaks me out. I want to be small, but never that small. she also has a ton of freckles which she compares to mine, but it always feels like we're comparing the fatness of our wrists. and she always wins.

I've been making an obsessive amount of lists these past few days. lists of things to do, to buy, to read, to write, to eat, to not eat, to list. it's getting a bit much. I need to find a way to do just one or two lists. #virgoproblems

guys, my birthday is in less than a week! how exciting! I want to do something and not be a loser, but I don't think that's gonna happen. so I'm just gonna try and make the best of it and have lunch with my grandparents. haha I'm such a wild teenager.

okay. gotta go make more lists. bye.