I told myself I wouldn't get a haircut until I was comfortably under 150. I scheduled the haircut for next saturday, the 11th. I'm still bouncing between 151 and 153, but if I commit myself to the week I think I can do this. If I don't get it done, I'll just do 2 hours pilates on the day of the haircut. sounds like a fair deal to me.
I spent the day reorganizing and packing up my stuff. I'm switching rooms with my sister this week, something I'm not excited for. we moved into this house when I was 4, and my mom picked out the room for me. she painted it periwinkle and picked out pretty white furniture for me. (you know, besides being fat, I think I turned out just the way she wanted me to, girly and feminine with classic sense of style. she was too loud and too strong willed to be the polite, quiet, ladylike woman she wanted to be, and I think she was hoping I'd grow up to be like her vision. I fit that, mostly.) then I carefully picked out decorations, creating my oasis where I spend a great deal of time. I painted it a darker, but still pretty, purple when I felt I had grown out of the periwinkle at 16.
my sister wants my room because it is bigger and there is a built in desk (that my father did for my 12th birthday.) she's been asking me since last summer, her argument that I'm away at college so she deserves my room. but I am home for about 5 1/2 months of the year, and besides, it is my room. but I feel bad that she's been wanting it for so long, and I feel like it's the right thing to do, even if I'm not emotionally okay with it. my father doesn't want me to, saying that I'll regret giving away my room. I think he just doesn't want to help us move all the furniture.
day 16- when did you decide to lose weight?
haha I have no idea. maybe since I first noticed I was fat, which was maybe around the time I was nine. I only started dieting and all that since I was around 13. this time round though, I recommitted to looking passably small in mid july.
day 17- do you have an eating disorder?
no, I don't think so. but I do have a very emotional relationship with food which I wish I could change.
Aw I can't imagine giving up my room, but I know if my brother asked I would do it. Can't say no to siblings :)
ReplyDeletejinkies, jax. i don't think you should do it. after all, everything in it sounds really personal. you shouldn't give it up just because she wants it. your dad's right; you'll probably regret it later. and she might not give it back. but i guess... do what makes you feel best.
ReplyDeletebtw, i think it's pretty cool that you turned out the way your mom wanted you to. my mom tried that, but i was always too much of a tomboy. :) 150 by next saturday! you can do it, no problem. <3
I'm hovering around the same weight and I know you can definitely get under 150 by next week! What sort of hairstyle are you going to get? Even though you hate switching rooms, that's really nice of you to do that for your sister. Maybe the change won't be so bad- change can be a good thing! <3
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