frazzled

I feel like someone emptied the contents of my brain and mixed it all up and then expected me to function normally. I'm sober (well, hung over really) and I feel like I'm high, except with none of the giggles and all of the confusion. My brain can't stay on one topic for more than a tiny amount of time and I'm so unbearably sad and ashamed of myself.

At least I finally hit my goal weight. Two days in a row I'm 136, one of my magic numbers. Another is 134, where I was stuck for about 3 months once on a really long plateau. The lowest I've been since I can remember (like since I was 12) is 130. I'd really like to be under that and into the 120's by Halloween.

I went on a date with a really nice guy I met online. He's tall and dresses like a hipster but is totally approachable and funny and genuine. He seems really moral, which I like but am also a bit weary of, as I am not a very moral person. But I guess he could make me better. I'm seeing him again tomorrow, I think we're going to the park. One thing though, is that he's really skinny. His forearms and thighs are smaller than mine and standing next to him makes me look short and plump. If my calculations are right, I think he's only at the most 10 pounds heavier than me, and he's nearly a foot taller.

I can't focus anymore. I think I'll go to sleep.