High

No one else would understand so I have to write it here.

I had a smoothie for breakfast:
-frozen berries (58)
-banana (105)
-1/2 cup of vanilla non fat yogurt (85)

a small sweet tea around lunch time (80)

and a low-fat string cheese for dinner (70)

If I counted right I should be just around 400 calories for the day. Fuck yes. I was on a hunger high today. I went shopping and couldn't tell which of my thoughts about the clothes were rational or strange. It was a lot like smoking weed except less giggly and spacey. It was just the irrationality and mellow energy. No wonder fasting is a religious experience.

I love it. But also I know I can't live my life this way. I'd be no fun for my friends and I would never accomplish anything. I'd make terrible decisions and just be a generally inconsiderate person. I don't think starving long term is good for your brain.

But I'm still going to try my best to eat the lowest amount I can and still function. I have so many life goals and I'm not putting them on hold to be thin. I can do both. I am a strong and capable person. Or so I tell myself when I'm high on emptiness.

I really love my classes. They all inspire or teach me in different ways. One of my classes is a little too easy, but that's okay. It's still going to be a good class and it'll cut down some of my stress level. I'm writing this while I take a brea from outlining the US Constitution. I thought it would be boring, but I love doing it. Constitutional law is fascinating.

xx