intake: 514
output: 257
net: 257
whoa... I just realized I exercised exactly half my calories off... bet that'll never happen again. I love coinky-dinks like that.
so success, I was under 300 :)
I had a panic attack today. I keep imagining there are bugs everywhere. People think it's hilarious that I jump around and itch and look like a freak, but it's terrifying. I can't sleep well and it's so tiring to be in fight or flight mode all fucking day. seriously, these bugs are going to kill me either through their nasty venom or whatever they do or exhaustion. bleh. bugs.... gross.
I really want to have tanner, thinner legs. and arms. and everything else.
When people look at me I assume they're judging my fatness and my ugliness. I want to yell at them "I'm working on it OKAY?!?! I've only had 80 calories so far today, so stop thinking about how gross I am and mind your own business!!" But they probably already are minding their own business. Everyone is way too wrapped up in themselves to think about how gross I am. I want them to notice me. And I want it to be because I'm so thin and pretty.
rant over.
Much love to everyone who's been supporting me and not giving up on me after all my up and down drama. Y'all are the best!!
xo jax
Oh my God, I feel the exact same way about people watching me. I can't eat in public anymore because I can hear them whispering about how the fatty's just going for more food. But they're not. They're not really talking about/watching me. And they're not really watching you either (: So we should both relax, lol. Stay strong <3
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had a panic attack, I get them sometimes so I know how terrible they are. Good job with the intake today, and good luck with tomorrow :)
ReplyDeleteim usually too secluded to notice if anyone else is starring, but i get a bit paranoid when i get up in front of a class or just walk through somewhere not quite so crowded.
ReplyDeleteyoure doing really well, chica. catchin' up to me. :P
<3 stay lovely.
We could never give up on you! Hey, we all have those ups and downs but that doesn't mean you're a failure, that just means your human! You're NOT gross at all- I bet people think you're lovely :). I bet there's tons of girls at your school who wishes they were as thin as you! That's pretty cool how you exercised exactly half of your cals though.
ReplyDeleteBugs are the most disgusting things! I took some shoes out of my closet Sunday morning and was about to put them on, then I spotted a spider beside a pair. I'm 21 and my first reaction was ::freak::, "MOM!! COME HERE AND KILL THIS SPIDER!!" I handed her my shoe and stood on the other side of the room and cringed while she smashed it. I felt like a baby that I couldn't kill a bug by myself, but I hate them so much!
Haha, I love the "SGD Sisters" thing =). I know we keep trying it over and over, but hey, it's a good diet! I just wish I could finish it successfully for once! I never could do the ABC- your right, it would be kind of hard to go through a month with hardly any food!
♥