Track Meet

I went, I saw, but failed to conquer. I'm the worst in every event I do, which makes me miserable. But the good part? it was cold. So boy shared a blanket with me. Boys are so good for keeping warm :)

Boy is my best friend's (well... we're kinda fighting and I don't know how to talk to her anymore) ex boyfriend. He's always stage crew in the shows I'm in, and he's really cute. He's got the tall, dark, and handsome thing well covered. Every show he always flirts with me and I always let him. I like attention. Anna swears he's weird and awkward and that he's just really horny and would go for anyone. But I don't think it should be so hard for her to believe I could be wanted by someone. I mean, I'm her friend right. and it's not like she loved him. they went out for like 2 months in ninth grade. big whoop.

He hugged me and said I did good at discus even when I was terrible. He had his arm slung around my shoulder on the bus back and I leaned into him. It was just so... nice. And I let him kiss me. Is that bad? it was the classic him-drive-me-home-then-kiss-me-on-the-front-porch thing. I know he's Anna's ex and she thinks he's no good, but he's really nice to me. And he told me I'm pretty which is something I crave. It's weird that I could wake up crying and shaking and go to bed smiling.

It would be really nice if this turned into something. maybe a prom date....? A good distraction from failing diets and a pitiful track season. A positive distraction. Something that makes me happy. He makes me happy- why is that so bad?