I'm in trouble

Sorry I haven't posted since Tuesday. I'd like to say I've been busy, but honestly I've just been lazy. And gaining. gaining sucks.

But  a minor blog-world crisis is under way. I got a text from my friend D on Friday asking if I had another blog. Then he asked if it was a "thinspo blog... like those scary pro-ana things?" I tried to laugh it off and lie but he isn't buying it. he probably found it and is gonna tell some one. great. just grrrreat.
and then things got worse.

I was at the track championships on Friday (and Saturday, it was the last meet of the season unless you do well and continue on to the next level, which of course I didn't. praise the Lord! I am finished track for my whole life! I am so so sooooo happy I never have to even look at another shot ever again.) when D texted me and boy saw the text. Then he asked what that meant. and then I had to explain what pro-ana is and answer questions like  "you have a blog?" I lied and he could tell I was lying. So I told the truth. sort of. I said I used to be ana over the summer but I know better now. And then he was all "you can tell me anything I don't want you to go through this stuff alone" and blah blah blah. yeah right! as if I could tell him "oh yay me, I didn't eat anything today! la di da, and oh by the way I cry when I'm getting dressed some mornings because I hate almost everything about myself."  please. I don't want real life people involved in my diet attempts. I don't want them worrying and I don't want them to stop me. I need to finish this thing, and that's that.

So yeah. If things start looking weird on this blog (or if it disappears), you'll know why.

and thank you everyone here for being so nice. I'm sorry for my disappearance, but I'll try harder in the future to be there for everybody. lots and lots of love!

xx jackie