Sunday, October 16, 2011

I, made of glass

I sobbed so hard and he prayed and I listened. He told me I need to be confident in where the Lord is taking me. He told me I need to find my self worth.
what worth? I'm not worth anything.


I ate some spaghetti and lemonade. And a whole lot of cookies when I felt like I was going to just die. die of what, I don't know. But at that point I had been awake for 42 hours. Can you die of dizzy sleep deprivation? probably.

I went to a costume party dressed as winter. mostly it was a chance for a girl down the hall to play barbie on a real human being.

I like the curly hair and make-up. but make-up doesn't make you beautiful, it makes you look like a polished version of what ever's underneath. and you can't polish shit, as they say.

I don't want to fall apart anymore.
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8 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    why do you think everything's hopeless? it's NOT.

    ReplyDelete
  2. annamariaOctober 17, 2011 at 3:43 AM

    oh, it seems so difficult for you to smile in the first photo..smile cause you are beautiful, and if make up is something you enjoy having, then enjoy it and don't feel guilty about it.
    have a lovely week :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. DavidOctober 17, 2011 at 4:22 AM

    Why do you keep insisting that you're ugly and not worth anything when everything seems to point to the contrary?!

    ReplyDelete
  4. missinsanity.October 17, 2011 at 6:00 AM

    jackie! darling, you look wonderful. and i know it isn't easy for you to believe, but you're worth more thank you think.

    and going to a costume party dressed as winter sounds like so much fun. <3 winter is my all-time favorite season ever times infinity squared. :)

    cheer up, cheer up, cheer up! i don't want you to fall apart either.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brown Eyed CowgirlOctober 17, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    Cheer up! You look so totally gorgeous in your pictures. And things are not hopeless, just keep moving forward, things will get better.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sam LupinOctober 17, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    jackie, you're amazingly beautiful.
    if you are winter, then we wait to hold you, dear snowflake. if you are summer, then you are the warmest of embracing lakes. if you are autumn, then leaves may fall on ground to hold memory and change. if you are spring, then you are sweet bee and flower's exchange. but you are not any. you are all. and we will not watch you fall. <3
    *slides in hand in hair* *giggles* i love how beautiful your hair is. in woman, i've always noticed hair first. because i always want to play with it!
    love, things will be better. maybe not today or tomorrow or soon, but it will get better, and we are always here to make you feel right at home, cradled in our arms.

    -Sam Lupin.

    ReplyDelete
  7. MegOctober 19, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    You really are beautiful. I'm not just saying it, you know. I'm known for speaking my mind.
    And yes, sleep deprivation can be very dangerous. Be careful with that and get some sleep ... or rather a lot of sleep.
    Love

    ~ Meg

    ReplyDelete
  8. americaneagleloveOctober 25, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    You're absolutely gorgeous!<3 your hair looks lovely curled. I hope you had a wonderful time at the costume party, it sounds like lots of fun!

    ReplyDelete

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