it's raining out the window

I just got from the gym and I feel like such a loser. I don't know how to use any of the machines and everyone else looks better than me. :/ I tried to use the elliptical but didn't know how to turn it on. So I ended up doing intervals on the cross-trainer for half an hour. The machine tells me that I burned 320 calories. I hope it's right since I ate mainly junk today.

To follow up on my last post- I don't think Julia has an eating problem, I think she's just super stressed about school. Some people don't eat when they're stresses and others over-eat. I am of the later category, unfortunately. I really shouldn't say I hate her, but she has been getting under my skin in a major way. I'm just too meek to do anything about that.

I have only 4 classes (and one small pretend class), and already on the second day I have a huge pile of work. how am I going to function with all this and the voices that keep yelling at me in my head? Everyone (well, almost everyone) seems to be so much better than me at everything. They don't look afraid at all, but I've been shaking in my boots since I got here.

Problem is, I don't know who to tell. I called my old boyfriend, and he just told me my problems sound stupid. I don't want to call my friends who are also in college cause they have enough going on in their lives without me getting crazy. And I don't want to tell my Dad cause I don't want him to worry. I need to find a friend here!

for some reason when I was running, I noticed how my eyebrows help keep sweat out of my eyes.

I've got a perfect body

but sometimes I forget,

I've got a perfect body

cause my eyelashes catch my sweat

-Regina Spektor, "Folding Chair"