I've just got back from a meeting for the school paper. I didn't get an assignment again :( no body even knows my name. I wish I were a daring reporter with guts and great writing skills, but I'm not. I'm too scared to try but I know I'll never learn if I don't. I don't want to give up on journalism yet.
Before that I was at my first day of my new job. I'm a math tutor so I spent two hours going over and over mean, median, mode, and range with a guy who spoke Creole and only spotty English. I was expecting it to be difficult, so I can't say it was harder than I thought. But it really was hard. I need to gain some confidence.
California and I have been talking a lot over facebook. Not ideal, but at least he's talking to me. And I'm excited that I get to see him at the retreat all weekend. He's so freaking cute, and he likes me quite obviously, which rocks. I just wish I looked better in a bathing suit :P
So I've come to a decision (which I'll likely change, so I guess I'm not really saying much of anything). I am going to work out and diet until I hit 118 however unhealthy I want to. I'll starve and over exercise and binge to my heart's content. Then I'm gonna go tell somebody that I need help, seek a nutritionist or something and then get down to 108 the healthy way. this way I figure I can keep the weight off. But I just wanna get down to 118 by Christmas so bad that I'm willing to be a little unhealthy to get there.
I know what you're all thinking 118 by christmas? how slow is she? I know I know I know. I'm slow. but I kinda suck at losing weight. I'll add that to the list of failures.
I'm struggling again. binge yesterday, and today (sort of)
yesterday I ate everything at once, completely possessed by my love of food. today it was a slow, painful consumption. I need to go back to my good old friend SGD. and I want to do it perfect.
plan:
become besties with the salad bar again. oh joy.
do more at the gym than just 70 minutes on the elliptical. I need variety!
drink more water
eat at intervals (which is not an excuse for snacking)
buy fruit/ smoothies NOT more granola
you're not a failure! honest! i haven't even been in my school gym yet, and i swore i would when school started.
ReplyDeletei think it's cool that you'll be having smoothies now. strawberry-banana is my all time favorite. <3 you should have one. it'll make you smile. :)
Losing weight slowly is better than nothing, I'm finally starting to be okay with a slower weight loss...so I think it's a good plan. I used to be an eliptical only person at the gym because I felt like a failure at running, until I started doing interval runs. Like alternating between jogging, sprinting, and walking. It is a crazy good workout, and put me in amazing shape!
ReplyDeleteYou've got this Jackie!
ReplyDeleteGreat plan! Vary your calories, put in a couple high cal days, and a couple fast days. You'll do wonderfully!
70MINUTES ON THE ELLIPTICAL. i got someone to catch up to. the most ive done is 40, then a break then 20. :P you suck. good luck though. <3 GET OUT THERE. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
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