Wednesday: juice fast until 6 (total 46h)
after 6: pasta, chocolate (iknowiknowiknow, i suck) 137.0
Thursday: disgusting binge, but also awesome workout 137.6
we'll see what today does to tomorrow's number. ugh.
all my friends are dying because they didn't get into the ivy they wanted. fuck off. you still got into like 10 top-rate schools. who cares? Cornell is just as fucking good as William & Mary! and boohoo, no Princeton? you still got into MIT. asdfghjkl. i hate them.
I wanted to cry when they were since I fucking binged. they failed, but at something difficult and good. I'm failing and it isn't even hard. it's easy and I can't even do it. they can get in every school but the tippy top, but I can't even lose 15 pounds or stick to a few simple rules. I can't tell anybody in real life. and I suck at track and I'm lonely and cold. but somehow I don't mind the cold because I read that it makes you burn more calories. which I need to burn because I fucking binged. and the binge is probably 10x as bad since I fasted before so my metabolism is slowed down. fuck fuck fuck. I hate me.
i wish i could make myself puke. i wish i were just magically thinner. i wish... a thousand things
I hope that all your wishes come true, you'd deserve it (:
ReplyDeleteI understand what you feel right now. I just binged, too and it sucks. I hate it.
ReplyDeleteHang in there
~ Meg
ugh. I remember those people. Just stop listening to them. Go at your own pace. I love you girly, be strong!
ReplyDelete