Monday, March 14, 2011

day 15

Yeah. I failed today. really badly. I ate a whole bunch of crap. I don't want to think about it anymore.

I'm in a downward spiral right now. I've been crying the past few days all the time and I can't keep a constant mood. I hate this. It's like have 20 different personalities switching on and off. why can't I just be fucking happy? I need help. I don't want it.









i wish everything didnt mean something. i could just eat a fucking cookie without caring. i could look at a mirror and not cry. i could see someone look at me and not analyze it. i could think something and not judge myself. fuck this.

2 comments:

  1. I know. I know how it is to hate your head for seeing numbers when you see food. I hate it too. I hate seeing 400 above a donut, and thinking that a banana (a freaking banana) isn't worth 100cals. I wish I could see a girl and not automatically guess her weight by the size of her thighs. I can't really say anything other than I understand, and I really hope it goes away at some point too.

    On another note, you had tea/boyfriend thinspo, and it made my day. Thanks :) Sending you skinnies. Tomorrow, do what is healthiest for you. Much love

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  2. I hope someday soon you become happy again. You deserve it (:

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