Tuesday, February 22, 2011

First Fast

I said in my last post that I wasn't going to fast today. But I looked at my lunch and decided that it wasn't worth it. I want to be done with this fast today! I've had 3 cups of tea today (I'm saying that they don't count since they're zero calories even if some people would count that as cheating. whatever. I like tea.) and a lot of water. The trick will be pretending I'm asleep when dinner time rolls around. I know the food smell will come wafting down the hall and up the stairs to taunt me.

I've decided that fasting blows. I mean, who likes this terrible temptation all the time? every food looks ten times as yummy and I want to break fast so badly. I have this terrible light-headed feeling and my vision is getting increasingly blurred. it's the same feeling as when I don't sleep, it's terrible. have I said the word terrible yet? terrible


^what I want so so so badly right now.... i miss food.... (hahah i'm the biggest baby, one day and I'm already going insane)


but the reason I'm doing this is because I need to finish SGD cycle 1 (yeah, Ariana is right, it sounds like ANTM.... hahah. I wish I could be like them, but alas, I am stout me) on a strong note. And fasting is supposed to be good for your metabolism or something right? Most of all though, I want to be pretty and skinny so bad. I have this feeling that it's never gonna happen, but I want to be thin. kdlgvaw;dvjoaevnuowair  I wish I was skinny and pretty!!!!  Prom is a little more than 4 months away, and I need to be a size 6. need to be a size 6.
yeah, I know a lot of you are thinking that it's pathetic that size 6 is my goal. 
but I'm seriously the fattest girl in the whole world. 
I wish it were tomorrow already so I could eat that grapefruit that's calling my name from the refrigerator.

truly yours,
a huge hater of fasts and lover of food

edit:








some happy thinspo. oh tumblr, i love you.
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8 comments:

  1. HaleyFebruary 22, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    Yay for deciding to fast!! I know you can make it through the rest of the day. And I know what you mean about the size 6 thing. Size 6 jeans used to be my super loose jeans that I wore for like random things at school or painting or something and I tried a pair on the other day and I could barely even zip them up and I was scared to death I was going to rip them. :(

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  2. determined girlFebruary 22, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    Jackie, first of all-- your absolutely gorgeous comment made my day today.. I've been feeling quite down lately and after having another awful day today, I read your words of encouragement and love, and my day was instantly a bit brighter. THANK YOU very very much, love, it honestly means a lot to me to know that someone actually cares. Thank you, darling.

    To your post- you're such an inspiration! Maybe a day of an unplanned fast would benefit all of us... Well, if you resist the food now, you'll feel VERY accomplished and proud of yourself tomorrow; and you'll be able to say you actually fasted for one full day.

    Oh, and-- size 6 is a great goal. Yes, I really mean it: for me, the journey from size 10 to size 6 was the toughest part of my weight loss. After that, everything somehow comes naturally and you won't believe your eyes when you'll see how fast you'll have gone from size 6 to a size much smaller. You'll see... trust me on this one.

    Love always,
    Lu.

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  3. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    I promise, it gets easier! I don't think drinking is cheating. Try something with skim milk in it to give your body something to use, it won't be nearly as hard. And a size 6 is nothing to stick your nose up at! That's tiny!

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  4. sofiaFebruary 22, 2011 at 10:41 PM

    tea is definitely not cheating. when im fasting, i dont even count coffee cals. and thats cheating. meaning, i count them but i allow them. :P fuck it, if i fit into a size 6 dress right now id be happy. i dont know whether i do or dont. :P i think your thinspo with grapefruit eyes is ironice... or is that an orange. dont worry, i wanted to break my fast with a tomato today... A TOMATO! haha. stay lovely. <3

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  5. Olivia LeeFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:19 PM

    eee, don't you just adore tea thinspo? Tea is not cheating at all, green tea actually speeds up the digestive process. Juice in general is fine too, just remember to count the calories. Sending you skinnies darling, hope everything went well!

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  6. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 5:24 AM

    I hope the rest of your fasting day went great! I hate it too- it's like you're more hungry than usual and food is all around you. Even stuff you don't like starts looking good! I drink tea, cooffee, and juice when I fast so I wouldn't call it cheating (though some epeople do only water...I couldn'td o that unless I was really ill). A fruits-only type of fast would be good too! But like Olivia said, you can still count your cals like normal :)
    ♥

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  7. Kate Lunacy.February 23, 2011 at 9:54 AM


    My Beautiful Lunacy, My Blog.
    ***
    stay strong my girl.

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  8. Starving ArtistFebruary 23, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    It's always worse in the begining :/ Juice is great, make sure it's 100%! Or something low cal ;)
    lol thats terrible, only eat healthy, unless its little to no cal, then go for it!

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