unpretty

Bad bad bad week. I just had pasta and milk for dinner and a soft pretzel at lunch. beh.

i think like 1172? not counting the 3 clems I had today. and the apple. i am such a fat ass

i knit this hat yesterday. and I wore it to school just for the compliments. Matt, this guy I've liked since freshman year, complimented me on every time i saw him in the hallway. i got all melty and happy. but then during gym, i looked out the window at the ice covered snow and i said to him "the sun looks so pretty reflected off the snow" and he said "you're really pretty.... eli" as he turned to the kid eli next to him. for a moment my heart jumped and i felt so happy. but then he was just joking around. i know he didnt mean to hurt me but im crushed. of course he wouldnt say something like that. i'm so ugly and im so fat. i dont deserve nice things said to me. im disgusting.

so then when it was my turn to work out, i powered through it. i got 200 sit ups in 4 minutes. i deserve a metal. for determination and the best situps a fat girl ever did.