lol trying to stay positive and not beat myself up...
I'm addicted to rice cakes. they are so good. i love eating them while drinking tea or orange juice (haha orange juice is not a good choice cal-wise but I <3 it) I had 4 today. one for lunch (with an apple and carrots). 2 for snack with a cup of tea, and one for "dessert" with some orange juice. I was bad and had pizza bagels with my sister and her friends for dinner. they're 50 cals each. I had 4. oops.
I only did dance rehearsal today (I am the worst dancer in the history of forever, just so you know) and 10 minutes of calisthenics. I've started calling them calis*thin*ics in my mind. clever, eh?
I've started to hang out with this girl Kelly from England a lot recently. I like her, she's cool. But she is gorgeous and I cannot handle it. plus, she's got the accent. kill me. only thing is, besides the pretty-complex I have about her, she gossips a lot. and it's mean gossip mostly. I don't mind a little, but she talks trash more often than most. I worry that she talks about how ugly and annoying I am behind my back. she probably does. ouch :(
I had a moment in the bathroom today. I hadn't even eaten anything yet and I looked in the mirror and just burst into tears. Thank God no one else was in there. it was just one of those times when you absolutely cannot bear to be stuck in your skin for another moment. I just hate me. how did this happen? why can't I just be one of those fat girls who loves herself even though she's butt-ugly? no, I have to be one of those depressed ones who's going on a crazy diet. of course.
On a happier note, I am adoring all this love I've been getting on the past few posts! thank you all so much. You guys really take a bad day and turn it into a good one. thank you :)
stay strong this weekend, girlies!
You are SO not butt ugly! I always worry friends talk about me behind my back but I've learned to just push that out of my mind and be 'in the moment' :)
ReplyDeleteLove ya girl.
~Cat
Staying positive is always the best thing you can do! Beating yourself up all the time will only make you feel more depressed. Rice cakes are so delicious! I like the Quaker ones- they come in so many great tasting flavors. Whenever you want something sweet, just grap a few low cal rice cakes :).
ReplyDeletePeople who talk trash more than most tend to worry me. If they talk about other people behind their backs to me, then I bet they say mean things behind my back to other people. Now, I realize that's not always the case but that's what I've heard.
And you are not ugly! I bet you're really gorgeous =). Most everyone has something about themselves they don't like, so change that thing you hate and turn it into something you love!♥
You are such a sweet soul. Staying positive is key!
ReplyDelete