SGD day 27

I did a water fast today. From dinner yesterday to dinner today.  I know eating dinner makes me sound like a wuss, but for me this is really good. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I had half a slice of pizza with my family and friends and some zero cal iced tea. Then the binge happened. Definitely not as bad as I expected would happen after my first fast, but it wasn't good. I had chocolate ice cream with pretzels. ohmygoditwasdelicious 
At least I was under the SGD limit of 650 today... ugh I hate my stupid fatty food choices.
I really wish I had the guts to make myself puke. Seriously, I can't do it. I just kneel over the toilet with the back of a toothbrush in my mouth and cry because I'm so afraid. I don't throw up ever, which for some reason has always seemed to me to be a symptom of being a fat girl. fat girls don't throw up (willingly or otherwise), or at least they don't in my observation.

Then we played risk and I lost. then apples to apples when the only green card I got was 'masculine'. seriously? seriously? I fucking hate that. it just gives my sister extra ammo to shoot me down with. Have I mentioned my sister lately? hahahahha she is driving me INSANE. at the moment I want more than anything to rip her goddamn hair out. rawrrrrr!!!!  (and no, not the "i love you in dinosaur" kind)

I was surprised how easy fasting was for me. But I know it will only be harder as days go on. I guess this was practice for Tuesday's fast (last day of SGD cycle 1). It's hard for me to start things, but even harder to keep going. Basically, I just suck at everything.

Just finished this book Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. I've read it 3 times now, and I think it might be my very favorite book. well, at least it's in the top 5. right up there with The Perks of Being a Wallflower and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I highly recommend this book, even if you aren't in high school. It's the wittiest and most relateable book I think I've ever read. I think about the things that Lee (the main character) says and thinks about in my everyday all the time. I was thinking about it so much that I just picked it up to read for the third time on Tuesday. Haha I finished the 400 page book today... when I like books I read them fast.

other favourites:
Bread and Roses, Too
Walk Two Moons
Harry Potter (duh)
The Handmaid's Tale
The Chronicles of Narnia
Little House on the Prairie
I'll Love You Forever
Le Petite Prince


and probably a bunch of others that I'm forgetting at the moment

sorry if this was too long and rambly. love you all to bits and pieces!!! XO