love comma jackie

this was going to be the opening line of a letter to you. I was gonna start by saying something casual. and then something else that was slightly self deprecating. then I would put a space between this paragraph and the next one, because it gives me visual organization.

this was going to be a paragraph about what's been going on. a long metaphor that's only slightly cliche. it was going to say something about how I'm lost and that I'm crazy. I was going to tell you in this paragraph, in a round about way, that I feel like I'm losing control. next comes another self deprecating comment about how much I repeat myself and that I always seem to be losing it in some way. and then i probably would have written some variation of hahaha.

this would be the paragraph where I put a quote that I found on an angst-y tumblr feed right above a picture of a skinny girl with good hair and a pretty dress in bright sunlight. I would have found a way to insinuate what I'm dying to tell you without actually telling you. then I'd try to make light of how terrible I feel.

I was going to wrap up this letter with a thank you speech. about how much I love you and how great you are etc. I would wrap it up with some clever end line. and then I'd read the letter about 5 times and change only a few small details. I'd title the blog with either an inspired word or phrase of the first or last words of the post. then, hoping that you'd read between the lines and find what I really wanted to say, I would have written love comma jackie.