v-day weekend

I'm back. haha, I couldn't wait till tomorrow to post, it needed to be now. All I think about is thinthinthin all day long and I can't talk about it. It's like my mind fills up so much until I can write and then it's sweet release. plus today was a terrible terrible day. thanks to Lu and StarvingArtist for the encouragement for this weekend!

Saturday was lovely, we skied all day long, which is a lot of calories burned. Generally, I take the time out on the snow and cut in half when I calculate calories burned. Half the time you are waiting in line or on the lift, and that doesn't really count. but still, eight hours cut in half is around 1,000 calories burned. pretty good! I had the chicken wrap my dad made for me and declined the hot chocolate offered to me. Then I some of my aunt's fruit salad, goldfish, and pretzels. it all added up to about 650. and I had orange slices for breakfast. Then I pretended to be asleep when everyone was having dinner and skipped it all together. So it was nice, I was under for the 650 limit of the day when the fruit was subtracted and it was technically a negative day when you look at net calories. yay!!

I almost never have negative days. I always slip into the "I can have that, I just worked out" mentality, which is bad. what the hell is the point of working out if I eat after. I am just a screwed up person, I think.

But then, surprise to me, we weren't going to ski today. We went instead to a old favorite restaurant for breakfast. ohmygawd the food there is amazing. I don't even want to say anything more, it's so embarrassing. I have NO SELF CONTROL. ew ew ew I hate me. let's just say I went way over the 700 limit for today. it was gross. I wish I wasn't too cowardly to throw up. I wish I could have gotten rid of all of it. nastynastynasty.

I had a great week and then I went and ruined it today. Seriously, I stayed under 700 all week and made my goals all but 2 days. That is super for me( (since I'm weak and disgusting) and then I ruined it. bleh. I need to do well this week despite vacation. I'm going on another ski vacation to Vermont on Tuesday. We leave Tuesday night and come back on Sunday night. Lots of skiing and friends. It'll be so nice. But I have to stick to SGD. I'm almost done round one.

I'm going to repeat the SGD after I finish it this time. I'm going to try and do it perfectly. Just repeat it until I can get the damn thing right. I feel like I need to at least have that one accomplishment.

on the upside, I weighed myself at the cottage, and I was 144. that's so good, since I was 155 on that scale over president's day weekend (jan 17). I really hope that it wasn't a fluke. I need to get a scale so badly! I have no idea which numbers to trust since I weigh myself on different scales all the time and with so much difference in the time of day. I need consistency and good numbers to go by.

I'm sending you all lovely thoughts for Valentines Day! Even if you aren't spending time with a boy and doing the romance thing, use tomorrow as a day to remember that people out there do love you. You are so loved, don't ever forget it!